bad days and red lipstick

One of the nicest travel gifts I've ever received was a red lipstick from MAC. In the accompanying card, my friend said it was for times when I was having a bad day or missing home - I was to put on the red lipstick and go out and grab the day by the balls. I love that card, the lipstick and my friend's simple and heartfelt support on days when I'm perhaps just feeling a little 'meh'.

A while a go, I posted the below picture to Instagram. I'd never before shared something so intimate from my time away but felt it was really important to show the reality of female solo travel at times.

I'd arrived in Halifax, Nova Scotia, having had very little sleep over the last 24 hours. I'd expected to spend just a couple of days there before moving on but, to my surprise, found myself smack bang in the middle of the busiest holiday period of the year. As a result, there were absolutely no cars available to rent for at least another week. For those of you who have been to Nova Scotia, you'll know it's incredibly difficult (near impossible) to really see and experience it without a car or willingness to hitch hike.

As I desperately searched for a car, I got really upset. Not because this was the end of the world - it was just a car after all, and I could make the most of the situation in any circumstance - but just because, in that moment, I was tired, frustrated and feeling pretty stupid for not planning ahead a bit more. I'd spent a tremendous amount of money on an internal flight, suddenly my plans were not meeting my expectations and I was really struggling to find an immediate solution.

To top it off, my upset and frustration opened the door for me to be unnecessarily and randomly harsh on myself regarding other areas of my life so, with a healthy dose of self-inflicted pressure, it's no wonder I crumbled a little bit.

After I posted the picture a friend of mine, who has also travelled solo, sent me a message which said: "It's amazing that you're sharing the more difficult side of travelling. What I never realised is that it can be so hard, and it's a challenge to feel that when everyone says you should be having the most amazing time of your life".

I couldn't have said it better myself to be honest. It's unrealistic to think that every day away will be amazing, but when you find yourself having a bad day, it can still be so easy to feel as though you are somehow ungrateful for the wonderful opportunity in front of you or as though you are 'failing'. That's simply not the case, particularly when travelling on your own.

What a lot of people don't realise is that solo travel means you're 100% self-sufficient and reliant, 100% of the time. Every plan made, booking confirmed, dollar spent, hiccup in the road, unexpected good and bad thing that happens goes through you first and that can be exhausting, especially when things go wrong. If you were travelling in a group, of course there would still be frustrations and challenges but they would be shared, and there would also be someone there to cry/laugh with over a glass of wine.

At times when I have travelled with other people, I've been amazed at how easy it is to switch off, take a back seat and let someone else navigate or decide what to do for the day. It's a complete contrast to how I am when I travel solo. I don't prefer it but it does serve to remind me how much I do when I'm on my own.

So cut yourself some slack and give yourself some credit for everything you're doing every day, on your own. If you have a bad day or you're finding something hard, ask yourself if it's the situation or perhaps a culmination of a few factors such as lack of sleep, internal pressure, budget worries etc. Take some time to call home, have a cry if you need to and take a break - tell yourself you'll assess the situation again in the morning and don't forget your red lipstick.